OK, I have been trying to finish this book for close to three weeks and I just can't figure it out. I much prefer A New Earth. Maybe I'm just not aware enough, but I keep getting distracted and have to go back and re-read things. I'm going to put it aside for a while and start reading the Book of Mormon. I already started last night and it was kind of fun.
While reading I felt inspired to read Moroni 10:3, which is the beginning of the challenge to pray about the truthfulness of the book. I was really excited and thought maybe this was a re-invigoration of the testimony process. Later during the same reading I felt inspired to read another verse which meant absolutely nothing to me. It kind of struck me as odd, so I did a little non-scientific experiment. My hypothesis: any situation can feel inspired and relate directly to a person's current life situation merely because of their current frame of mind. My methodology: flip through the BoM and read random verses and feel in my mind if they could at all be construed to be inspired to apply to help me with a current problem, thought, concern, etc. Results: nearly every single verse I randomly turned to could have been interpreted as applying to me at that point in time (5 out of 6). Interpretation: it goes back to the book I referenced a few months ago (The Four Agreements). Basically, a person's current perception is the veil through which they interpret and judge every thought, feeling, experience, etc. So, a person with a testimony will regard EVERY experience as supporting that testimony, whether they realize it or not (e.g. a raise at work will be seen as a blessing received for paying tithing; being fired will be seen as an opportunity to learn humility (or even punishment for some errant behavior if the person is sufficiently warped)).
I also got on an LDS forum to read through basic conversations and questions regarding doctrine. I was left with a somewhat hollow feeling as every challenge to doctrine was answered almost verbatim with the typical "Primary answers," almost like people weren't really thinking, they were just repeating what they've been taught all their lives. Anytime something doesn't make sense: "I don't know, but I've FELT it's true so I don't have to worry about evidence or facts that may disprove my testimony - evidence from God is greater than evidence from man" (I guess they don't realize that emotions are the most easily manipulated aspect of human existence (ever seen a horror movie, listened to a sappy love song or listened to a speech from a dynamic political leader???)). Anytime discrepancies in past doctrine come up: "isn't it great that we have ongoing revelation?" and on and on it goes.
Of course, I have to be able to separate the people in the church and their opinions from the actual doctrine of the church (which from my perspective are two very different things).
Anyway, I still have a lot to learn and figure out, but I am optimistic about the possibilities and direction I have been taking lately. My heart seems to be a little more open to things, so that is good.
